The hurt was all too real. Every battle. Every fight. Every cut. I felt it deep in my heart. That sinking feeling. That lump in my throat. The welled up tears in my eyes that I couldn’t bear to shed. The loneliness. The isolation. The words that couldn’t escape my mouth. The quiet screams. The mascara stained pillows. The painful images that flashed through my mind. The fear. The guilt. The marks on my lifeless body. The emptiness. The hate. Feeling worthless. Feeling used. Numbness. The sting of how much it all slapped me in the face each morning. Sleepless nights. Days in bed. Binge eating. Self-starvation. Trust issues. Lost. The feeling of not knowing what “home” is. Feeling guilty for feeling. Muffled cries. Fists through the wall. Looking for meaning, purpose, and life at the bottom of a bottle. Thoughts of ending it all. Suicide attempts. Overdose. Fall to pieces. Rock bottom.
Do these phrases and words strike a nerve? Did you resonate with this? I wish no one did… but I know some of you are nodding, tearing up, and feeling the sting of the past. What I hate knowing is that some of you are feeling that now. I wish so profoundly that I could take away the pain and give you only happiness. I can’t instantly resolve your pain, make you forget the past, or propose an immediate remedy. However, I can tell you that it gets better. You are loved so deeply by the universe and myself. Your battle wounds and scars are not a flaw. YOU are not flawed. You are strong. You are powerful. You are worthy of all the brilliance and abundance the universe has to offer. Do not for even one second think that you are not capable of abundance, joy, healing, power, strength, and greatness. You are uniquely qualified in this life to share your gifts and no one else can do it quite like you. Turn your pain into progress and grow. It is your time to bloom and show your beauty to the world. My story is my pain, my progress, my growth, and my beauty. This blog is a memoir telling the story of my wounds, my scars, and my strength.
Battle Scars of a Lone Wolf 